by MichaelUnlimited
This is the second story in a Project Unlimited series titled: “Why do people wind up in prison?” Each story is written by an inmate at Tomoka Correctional Institution, not to justify or excuse behaviors, but for the purpose of educating and increasing awareness. You’re welcomed and encouraged to send questions for consideration for the Unlimited men to answer throughout this series. To learn more about Project Unlimited click here.
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Saint Patrick’s Day, 2025. A time when so many people come together to drink, wear green, and make merry, with song and dance. A wonderful party. Where everyone cuts loose and is encouraged to get shitfaced. While being able to stand with a false sense of bravado to claim that they are the big winner.
Sitting behind razor-wired fences with a life sentence, I think, how incredibly foolish it is to be the winner of who can become the most intoxicated. I was that drunken winner in 1994. I woke up that morning, thinking my friends and I were going to have a superb time at the local pub. However, we never made it to the pub.
I got started before noon with some girls I had met down the hall of the motel where I was staying. We drank beer, which somehow turned into drinking vodka. Our party ended up by the pool, where we met another drinking couple. “Drink, drink, drink” soon became the mantra. Later, coming back from oblivion, I awoke to a cool, dark motel room, not knowing how I had ended up back there.
That night, I made the worst decision of my life. It was after the security guard came to investigate a complaint about the noise level of our room, that I took the life of another living, breathing, human being.
I was 22 years old.
Edmund
Sitting alone, head hung low,
Still thinking about you.
I wonder,
What can I do?
I didn’t cry for once,
Nobody made a fuss.
Wondering what really happened,
To both of us?
Seeing what was missing,
Absorbing what was taught.
Knowledge, wisdom, and understanding,
From life’s lessons,
I’ve learned a lot.
Working on me, myself and I,
Becoming a better man.
Living life,
The best way I can.
Being productive,
In society.
Helping the youth,
See the truth.
There’s hope,
In everything we do.
The mind has no barriers,
Like us, it’s unlimited.
Whatever we perceived,
Can be conceived.
Whatever we believe,
We will achieve.
Constructing a working plan,
Offering a helping hand,
To my fellow man.
Helping them,
Anyway I can.
To become the best,
That they can be.
Giving back to society.
By planting the seed,
And seeing them succeed,
My mind is freed.
I am guilty, convicted and sentenced.
Serving time, is my penalty.
A life sentence given.
Remorse that almost swallowed me,
With the pain for him – held inside me.
Edmund was someone,
Alive and breathing.
An inspiration to many,
A man of heart and feeling.
Deserving to be remembered,
As a pillar of the community.
Someone who offered a helping hand,
Even to the end.
Edmund, like you,
I want to be – a true friend,
Helping, anyway I can.
I am Guilty
Edmund was a good man, trying to offer assistance to two girls. I will not blame my actions on not having the use of all my faculties, I am the one who chose to drink. I am guilty.
It is my hope that one day I will be able to help someone else who is walking down the wrong path, hanging on by a thread, helping them open their eyes, and showing them a different pathway. If I can save one person from prison, my efforts in writing this will have been worth it. Saving lives is my mission.
Words of advice, if you don’t drink, then don’t ever drink. And if you do drink, do it responsibly, and if you don’t think you can, then take the necessary steps to get help. Or like me, you could be one moment away from a lifetime of tragedy.
I am Sorry
St. Patrick’s Day, 1994. Everyday I live with the terrible decision I made more than 30 years ago. Edmund and his family should never have been my victims. Edmund, I apologize to you and your family for what I’ve done. “I am sorry.” All I can hope to do now, is to try to do what you would have done, and help somebody.
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Resources
Invitation to Change is a 501(c)(3) nonprofit dedicated to changing the conversation around substance use from one of shame and suffering to one of hope and positive action by providing materials, resources, and programs to the loved ones of those struggling with substance use, as well as to community groups, treatment providers, and health professionals. The Invitation to Change Approach© (ITC) is a holistic helping framework based in science and kindness, designed for the families and loved ones of people struggling with substance use
Heather Ross Coaching provides support and direction for families with adult children struggling with substance abuse.
Volusia Recovery Alliance is dedicated to empowering individuals and families in their journey to recovery from substance use disorder.
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Did you miss the first short story in this “Why do people wind up in prison?” series? If so, check it out below:
“I Didn’t Know How to Ask for Help,” by JacobUnlimited