By exploring words, books, thoughts, and all those burning whys that stew and stir from within our souls, the Momentous Living podcast contemplates how health begins with self before it can go beyond, that our best selves are our truest selves, and by looking past what we are to who we are will reveal a better self for a better world. 

Debby’s full first name, Deborah, means the bee, the seeking one. Back in the day, Debby earned a journalism degree joyfully seeking answers to Who? What? When? Where? Why? and How? After pivoting through life’s many unpredictabilities, she now, in her silver-haired season, satisfies her inquiring nature through writing and speaking about all things momentous. Explore more momentous contemplations in her blog and book.

Episode 4: “Physical Wellness” with Coach Rebecca Taylor

Listen to Coach Rebecca as we discuss the definition of Physical Wellness and how it’s an extension of who we are and how it drives our lifestyle. 

Connect with Coach Rebecca at EdgewaterFitnessClub.com.

Resources Mentioned: Crossfit

Key Contemplations (podcast #4):

• What Physical Wellness encompasses.
• Goals, timelines and accountability.
• Physical strength influences mental strength.
• Do we have to remain stuck in our pain?
• Perfection vs Progression. 
• Breaking big things into smaller things. 
• How one goes from overwhelm to confidence.
• Discover the benefits of strength training.
• Discover Coach Rebecca’s momentous word.

***

Episode 1: “Self-love” with Dr. David Baker

This three-episode inaugural series explores love. Not the mushy romantic kind, but rather self-love, unconditional love, and divine love. In this first episode, Debby interviews psychotherapist and coach, Dr. David Baker, to gain insight about self-love—what it is, and what it is not.

Connect with Dr. Baker at dbakerphd@gmail.com

Resources Mentioned:
Narcissus, the fictional character in Greek mythology.
Rumi, “The Guest House”
Zulu greeting: Sawubona/Shiboka, “I see you” and “I exist for you”

Key Contemplations (podcast #1):

• Healthy self-love does not put too much emphasis on self and overlook community and relationships.
• The results of our behaviors can provide clues as to whether we’re living out self-love well.
• When we are grounded in ourselves, we can “witness” others by seeing them and being present with them. We can witness others when we ourselves are being witnessed. The South African Zulu greeting, Sawubona, sheds light on this.
• Busyness keeps us from focusing on the inner work that’s needed for healthy self-love. Are we so busy that we can’t hear our deep self, our soul? Are we living a rhythm of rest and activity that allows for not too much stress, but enough? 
• Busyness distracts us from sitting in the serenity of self.
• We can better understand why it’s essential to do the hard internal work by looking around at cultures and leaders who aren’t doing the work. 
• How we digest and use our wounds to form ourselves contributes to our ability or inability to love self and others well.
• Wounds can shape us and move us into a place that invites deeper purpose and positive transformation.
• “The Guest House” by Rumi reminds us to do an honest assessment of who we are and to welcome all parts of us, not to be shared with the world, but rather to integrate into our souls and realities. That is the grounding of a healthy self-love. Not pretending. But living true and honest versions of ourselves.
• Focusing on changing our minds or behaviors only goes so far. We need to ask Why? to move beyond, “I’m anxious” or “I’m sad.”
• The best thing we can do for our world is work on ourselves and see another. Anybody is somebody, self included. 
• Be suspicious of popular culture’s perspective of self-love: quick and no work.
• Self-love is not about perfection, but embracing imperfection that allows us to set aside judgements, but also not allowing unsafe or damaging imperfections.
• “I have lived on the lip of insanity, wanting to know reasons, knocking on a door. It opens. I’ve been knocking from the inside.” Rumi

***

Episode 2: “Unconditional Love” with Family Coach Heather Ross

Join Debby as she talks to family coach, Heather Ross, to gain insight about unconditional love, while also exploring the word enabling. Heather offers a unique perspective based on her professional training, as well as her personal experience supporting her daughter who struggled with substance use. Although this episode falls second in this series, Debby conducted the interview first.

Connect with Heather at www.HeatherRossCoaching.com

Resources mentioned:
Peace of Mind coaching
Living with Your Child’s Addiction podcast
Enabling document, evidence-based strategies for health and wellness
Beyond Addiction book by Drs. Jeffrey Foote, Carrie Wilkens, and Nicole Kosanke, with Stephanie Higgs
CRAFT, helping families help through connection, communication, and encouragement
Invitation to Change program

Key Contemplations (podcast #2):

• Heather describes what it was like supporting her daughter’s recovery and learning how to love someone unconditionally through difficult times.
• Working on a relationship with herself helped Heather open up, be more vulnerable, stop blaming her daughter for all their problems, and ultimately be able to give more love to her daughter. 
• Regardless of dirty hair, nails, clothes, Heather learned how to love her daughter in the moment.
• Being with someone as they are, without trying to change them, taught Heather to love “unrestricted,” and that this kind of love was so much bigger than she had ever known, which allowed her to love others better too.  
• Loving someone by letting go of those things we think will keep us safe and letting walls down is not what hurts. It’s the things that we make it mean about us is what hurts.
• For Heather, unconditional love for self meant extending compassion and forgiveness of the things not yet known, learned, or understood, and accepting her path.
• Forgiving herself for what she didn’t yet know, allowed Heather to then focus on becoming the kind of mom she could be proud of being.
• Unconditional love doesn’t always say “yes.” Sometimes saying no is the most loving thing you can do. 
• Enabling should not be a black-and-white idea that everything we do enables poor behavior. We can also “enable” health and wellness to encourage healing. 
• Love is not weak. Love is strong. Love has boundaries. 
• An essential part of unconditional love is taking your own needs into consideration too.
• In spite of her daughter’s tragic ending, Heather believes the best is still yet to come. Find out why.

***

Episode 3: “Divine Love” with Rev. Dr. Wally Arp

In Episode #3 Debby contemplates the hugeness and closeness of Divine Love by having a conversation with Pastor Wally Arp of St. Luke’s Lutheran Church, located in Oviedo, Florida. Although Debby often feels limited by her knowledge of Divine Love, she more often feels peace and power because of it. Debby believes one way of growing in faith (of anything or anyone) is by engaging in genuine nonjudgmental dialogue, and trusting where it might lead. Pastor Arp speaks from a Christian belief system while holding curiosity with what might unfold.

Connect with Pastor Arp at https://sllcs.org
(correction: Pastor Arp has nine grandchildren, not children, as inadvertently mentioned)

Key Contemplations (podcast #3):

• Our interior life reveals purpose and meaning as we try to experience life together.
• English language has one word for love, while other languages like Greek use multiple words to express different kinds of love. Divine love is agape, translated as grace, undeserved and unlimited, not dependent on the object of the love for its expression. It’s not earned or merited. It’s given freely.
• God is love that becomes our core essence that then shapes and forms who we are. God created humans in his image, to receive his love, reflect back to him, and outward toward others. 
• Each of us are unrepeatable miracles of God, each unique and designed to receive love.
• We naturally focus on self-love at the exclusion of all other kinds of love. 
• Divine love is the core of our humanity and can be found in many places, but ultimately from one source for the most intimate experience.
• There’s value in being curious enough about another’s story and validating their value even if we don’t agree.
• An interesting thought: What would a love apprentice look like?
• Actions of love produce feelings of love in the context of a safe and healthy relationship. And how does running fit into this lovely thought?
• Identifying and understanding feelings can help answer the question: “Why am I not feeling loving?”
• By exploring “Who am I and why am I here?” Pastor Arp’s orthodox Christian faith led him to his daily mantra: “Today I am who God says I am. I am not any more than that but I’m never ever any less than that.”
• What does Colossians 3:14-17 (and the before and after) reveal about Divine love? “Above all clothe yourselves with love that binds us all in perfect harmony.” Context is king. Words leading up to this verse include holy and beloved or rather divinely loved; compassion, kindness, and humility; meekness, patience, and forgiveness. Love binds these together and serves as the container. 
• Humility is not thinking less of yourself but thinking of yourself less.
• Meek is not weak. Meek means to be so calmly courageous that you can absorb things when people attack you without it undercutting your sense of identity or purpose.
• Creation was meant to be an integrated whole, not a disintegrating mess.
• Divine love helps bind us back together, our emotions, our spirit, our physical wellbeing in alignment. Gives sense of purpose. Other faith traditions teach this as well.
• As Pastor Arp has come to know and experience “momentous”—of great significance especially in its bearing on the future—more from a God-given divine love, it sets him free to express momentous more and more to those around him. 

Header Photo by Greg Rakozy, Unsplash